In this society, women are expected to live up to a man’s standards of what a “real” woman is. As time goes on many women are defying these sexist standards. You would think that in 2019 people wouldn’t be so bothered by multifaceted women, but this is still an issue. Insecure and sexist men do not like to see women who are confident in themselves. They get their self esteem from being able to control the way women live. It’s the same way for women with internalized misogyny. They have been conditioned to think that their lives revolve around men. It bothers them to see that there are women who refuse to live that way.
I noticed that the more popular Megan Thee Stallion gets the more hate she receives from men especially. They seem to be intimidated by her being her. Megan is educated, attractive, talented, and sexually liberated. Anyone who has been following her knows that she has an unshakable confidence. Sexist men see women as one-dimensional beings. Our lives revolve around what role we play in theirs. We’re either the “hoe” or the “good girl”. These men would be okay slut shaming her as an Instagram model or video vixen. They see those women as insecure and seeking validation from men. They would be okay if she was an MC Lyte or Rhapsody, a female rapper who doesn’t focus much on her sexuality with a tomboyish look. Both talented female rappers who do not present themselves as sexual beings, so their sexuality doesn’t intimidate men. Or maybe the Michelle Obama type, an educated woman who presents herself in a “classy” light. But men cannot fit Megan Thee Stallion into any one-dimensional, sexist bubble and that bothers them. She is also unbothered by society’s standards of what a woman should be. They can’t control how this woman lives so they spread hate towards her.
This applies to other sexually liberated female rappers as well. For example, Cardi B and City Girls. Their lyrics piss off misogynistic men and women with internalized misogyny. They are bothered by women who focus on their sexuality. But they aren’t bothered by a society that focuses on a woman’s sexuality. Male rappers have used the sexuality of women for decades. Rapping about women’s bodies and what they would do to them sexually. Video vixens in every single music video. But there’s an issue when a woman decides to talk about her own sexuality especially in the unapologetically raunchy way the City Girls and Cardi B do. Women are not allowed to be sexual on their own terms. Their lyrics appeal to the sexuality of women, not men. They rap about manipulating men for money the same way men brag about manipulating women for sex. Yet they are the ones being called bad role models and not the hundreds of misogynistic rappers.
I feel that this is the same reason men and women with internalized misogyny are bothered by Instagram models. These women can capitalize solely on their sexuality and misogynists are threatened by this. For centuries men have used our sexuality for their benefit. Society conditions us to believe that a woman’s sexuality is only for the enjoyment of men. Instagram models capitalize off male thirst which is easy to attract, and men know this. They love to ask these girls what they offer besides their looks as if men don’t base a woman’s worth on their attraction to her. They spend their time thirsting over their Instagram pictures while complaining about them. Instagram models are sexy and aren’t afraid to show off their bodies. They don’t respond to the sexist threats of, “You’ll never find a husband acting like that.” Insecure men can’t shame these women into living by their standards. Women with internalized misogyny are bothered by them because they won’t confirm to the standards of men the same way they do. These misogynistic women live their lives based on impressing men and are angered to see Instagram models impress them in such a “demeaning” way.
It’s 2019, not the 1800’s. Ladies if you want to express your sexuality, then do it. If you want to be modest, then be that. Do not base how you live your lives on what men want. Our lives are about us and no one else. If a man doesn’t like the way you are then he is not the one for you. And that’s okay. Our lives do not revolve around impressing men. If they can do what they want, then so can we.